The Gratitude Journal: Entry 3
As a child, the epicenter of the arts was always New York. It was always presented to us as THE place to go if you wanted a successful career in the arts. As an artist, inspiration is so important in every facet of our work. Also, as I’m continuing to remember, New York has been a place of triumph and expression for people who look like me, think like me, and love like me. Granted, the city didn’t always love them back, but they still endeavored for better and the city was able to foster that growth for many.
I’m finding inspiration in everything here. Flowers, architecture, interior design, posters, murals, fashion, food, it’s all here and ready to be taken in. There is a feeling whenever you breathe that first breath here, it’s a new sense of awakening. Because the city is so big, it allows you to get somewhat lost in it all. For me, no matter where I am in NYC, I’m always able to look at what’s in front of me and appreciate the view from my eyes. The craziest part is that this was all created by humans, so by appreciating the city in all its forms, you showing gratitude to the people that came before you that helped you to enjoy the city as it is now.
Where I am right now was built on top of the San Juan Hills community of New York City. It was a neighborhood that comprised one of the largest populations of African-Americans, Afro-Caribbean, and Puerto Rican people. San Juan Hill was said to be the birthplace of ‘The Charleston’ Dance and bebop music. It was also said to have numerous clubs of all kinds, where jazz was prevalent. To be here right now in this body means that I’m paying homage to the lives that were displaced and lost as a result of urban renewal (gentrification). According to Wikipedia, over 7000 families of color, and 800 businesses were displaced and destroyed. This made way for the construction of the Amsterdam Homes housing projects, which was unaffordable for the original residents of San Juan Hill.
While being appreciative of this opportunity to work at such a prominent institution, it goes without saying that I’m longing for the opportunity to experience things like San Juan Hill. I am grateful for the stories, and the legacy that was left behind, however, too many people don’t acknowledge the fact that this institution wouldn’t exist without the destruction of a forever-beloved neighborhood in the city. I appreciate Lincoln Center’s commitment to extending the visibility of San Juan Hill (Legacies of San Juan Hill), but I still wish the importance of the culture, jazz, and black people’s creation and contribution to the art form and vitality of this area was more heavily emphasized throughout the culture here.
While no one needs a history lesson on the intricacies between black life and living in America; I do find it rather inspiring the remembrance of my BlaQueer ancestors and elders. I recognize and appreciate the fact that I stand boldly in who I am, and can pay homage to the people who helped to articulate the things about myself I hold so dear. I stand on the backs of James Baldwin, Langston Hughes, Andre Leon Talley, Alvin Ailey, Arthur Ashe, Marsha P. Johnson. I stand on the backs of Sir John, Laquan Smith, Billy Porter, Ru Paul, and so many other people named and unnamed whose authenticity and hard work throughout their life is a testament to my ability to show up in spaces not designed for my growth or success.
We are taught small remnants of these historical figures based on a lack of general knowledge about them as people. We must do the work within ourselves to continue the legacy set before us by the ones we are inspired by. I am committed now to doing more research, more reading, and getting to know better the people who ‘do get talked about’. It’s also important to recognize that while these people are highly visible and celebrated for their work, they are not monolithic. They are not the only ones contributing to our story and the fabric that is woven together through time, space, and opportunity. They are representatives of the times and paint a picture of the ways in which our people’s legacy will continue. Our stories will continue.
I am grateful to be an artist
I am grateful to be in a city that perpetuates the importance of art.
I am grateful to be black
I am grateful to be queer
I am grateful for intersectionality and the acknowledgment that my experience is different because of it.
I am grateful for my blaqueer ancestors, elders, and peers.
I am grateful for San Juan Hill, and its legacy.
I am grateful for the acknowledgment of the people that were left behind to create the institution that serves me today.